Sunday, August 11, 2019
I will start this by saying that I don’t ask for your forgiveness or your blessing, but I have sinned. And it’s been, well, a very long time since my last confession. It’s been nine years, six months, and three days to be exact. It should have been ten years, but I got six months off for good behavior.
You should probably know that I was once a soldier and I served in combat. I was even decorated. I fought in
I, for reasons that should be apparent already, won’t tell you my real name. There were thirty seven of us cops, all former Soldiers, twenty two of us served in
No one knows better than me how far I’ve fallen. I don’t think that it is possible to find my way back to His grace. I don’t believe it is possible to atone for my sins, of which there have been many - both in thought and deed. I don’t need you to tell me what fate awaits me, and I’m not looking for either divine absolution or for your forgiveness. I can’t forgive myself for the things I’ve done and I surely don’t expect those that I’ve wronged to forgive me. Perhaps God, in his infinite compassion, can, but I don’t expect that either – and I won’t ask for it. If I do one thing right in my life, it will be that I take full responsibility for my situation.
I can’t bear to set foot in the Church again, at least not for a while anyway. So instead, I’ve started this journal as a form of confession and you can read it or not as you choose.
Posted by VanDerDecken at 7:49 PM